Telling Miss Jealousy goodbye

Rainy Day © K. Hall

Jealousy. Such an ugly, unnecessary, counterproductive emotion that pushes us to behave in such foolish and hurtful ways.

I always imagine that She (yes, I see jealousy as a “she”) is standing behind me, poking me in the back, egging me on to do and say stupid things, while whispering in my ear, “Oh, yeah? You going to let her get away with that? She thinks she’s better than you. Look at how she’s turning the bosses head, taking your credit, stealing your friends.” Sometimes, it’s more like kicking me when I’m down, when Jealousy says, “Oh, of course he got the job/has the friends/can accomplish that task in a far better way than you could ever hope for. After all, you are lacking. There is just so much that you don’t have going for you. Let's count all the ways in which you just don't measure up.

Ouch.

Yes, Miss Jealousy is a nasty piece of work indeed, and I have fought against her often, and lost more times than I care to admit, as I allow her to rain all over my parade. Recently, though, I had an insight that has allowed me to not even feel or hear many of her taunts, and I want to share it with you in the hopes that you can benefit as I did.

First, every day I pray, among many other things to be full of grace for myself and others, and I also pray for the words from my tongue to be kind and thoughtful. I highly recommend prayer to everyone, even if and especially if you think God certainly wouldn't listen to little old you.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately-positive, uplifting books-and one of my most recent is Max Lucado's "Cure for the Common Life", in which he talks about living in our sweet spot, living the lives for which God designed us. I wrote a post in response to my reading, entitled, “Where’s my ticket, Lord, and whose luggage is this?”, if you'd like to learn about finding your sweet spot in life.

As I reflected later on this same book, I realized that I believe that we covet what others have or are jealous because we are not seeing the gifts God has given us. Instead, we are paying too much attention to the gifts he gave to others.

It is truly that simple. 

Remember Christmas Day when we were young children, and how much attention we paid to what all our siblings got, and we went into private or public accounting of how much more everybody else got, and how they all got much more of what they wanted? Oh, yeah. those embarrassing memories can provide such great teachable moments for us.

To give you an actual current example, I have to admit that I had always been envious of certain traits that my husband possesses, and thought that if I could be more like him, then I would be....happier, be more productive at work, etc.

After I read Lucado's book, though, it hit me like a freight train. God didn't gift me with those traits because they weren't necessary for what he designed me to do.

He packed my bags. For me.

Just. For. Me.

It took my breath and my jealousy away.

Today, I am just grateful for, not envious of, my dear hubbie’s ability to streamline a process like nobody’s business, and to be incredibly creatively efficient and organized at anything he tackles. His skills complement mine, and are part of what I love about him.

I have not completely shut Miss Jealousy out of my life, and I still have to work at ignoring her any time that I realize I am going green-eyed over something or someone. However, that awareness of my own special gifts, of the skills that I share that I just can't not do, keep me more grounded these days.

Baby steps, baby steps, every day, and I have to remember to extend the same grace and forgiveness to myself that I extend to others.

What have you been jealous of that you can finally let go of today?