Extending grace

Pussy willow © K. Hall

We are so blessed to have some pretty exciting things going on with our family at this time, and recently I was up way, way past my bedtime chatting with one of my daughters about this happenings. When I finally went to bed, I laid awake, just so supercharged about the positive turns and tremendous possibilities that have presented themselves in all of our lives.

Morning came at its regular time, however, and I found myself facing the day with minimal rest. I realized I had a choice about how to conduct myself, and so when I prayed, I asked to be absolutely overflowing with grace. As I noted in an earlier post, I do this daily, but today it was especially important, as I felt my well of tolerance was as shallow as my sleep had been.

That prayer was answered for me so incredibly abundantly, and grace was extended to me, as it always is, in spite of all of my faults and shortcomings. I sailed through my day, with true joy, effortlessly sharing and extending that grace to everyone who crossed my path.

You see, what I realized is that it is when we are feeling at our lowest and are more inclined to be hurtful in our behavior is the very time that we need to request and extend grace for ourselves and to others.

How will you choose to spend your day today, and where will you share and extend your grace?

Telling Miss Jealousy goodbye

Rainy Day © K. Hall

Jealousy. Such an ugly, unnecessary, counterproductive emotion that pushes us to behave in such foolish and hurtful ways.

I always imagine that She (yes, I see jealousy as a “she”) is standing behind me, poking me in the back, egging me on to do and say stupid things, while whispering in my ear, “Oh, yeah? You going to let her get away with that? She thinks she’s better than you. Look at how she’s turning the bosses head, taking your credit, stealing your friends.” Sometimes, it’s more like kicking me when I’m down, when Jealousy says, “Oh, of course he got the job/has the friends/can accomplish that task in a far better way than you could ever hope for. After all, you are lacking. There is just so much that you don’t have going for you. Let's count all the ways in which you just don't measure up.

Ouch.

Yes, Miss Jealousy is a nasty piece of work indeed, and I have fought against her often, and lost more times than I care to admit, as I allow her to rain all over my parade. Recently, though, I had an insight that has allowed me to not even feel or hear many of her taunts, and I want to share it with you in the hopes that you can benefit as I did.

First, every day I pray, among many other things to be full of grace for myself and others, and I also pray for the words from my tongue to be kind and thoughtful. I highly recommend prayer to everyone, even if and especially if you think God certainly wouldn't listen to little old you.

I have been doing a lot of reading lately-positive, uplifting books-and one of my most recent is Max Lucado's "Cure for the Common Life", in which he talks about living in our sweet spot, living the lives for which God designed us. I wrote a post in response to my reading, entitled, “Where’s my ticket, Lord, and whose luggage is this?”, if you'd like to learn about finding your sweet spot in life.

As I reflected later on this same book, I realized that I believe that we covet what others have or are jealous because we are not seeing the gifts God has given us. Instead, we are paying too much attention to the gifts he gave to others.

It is truly that simple. 

Remember Christmas Day when we were young children, and how much attention we paid to what all our siblings got, and we went into private or public accounting of how much more everybody else got, and how they all got much more of what they wanted? Oh, yeah. those embarrassing memories can provide such great teachable moments for us.

To give you an actual current example, I have to admit that I had always been envious of certain traits that my husband possesses, and thought that if I could be more like him, then I would be....happier, be more productive at work, etc.

After I read Lucado's book, though, it hit me like a freight train. God didn't gift me with those traits because they weren't necessary for what he designed me to do.

He packed my bags. For me.

Just. For. Me.

It took my breath and my jealousy away.

Today, I am just grateful for, not envious of, my dear hubbie’s ability to streamline a process like nobody’s business, and to be incredibly creatively efficient and organized at anything he tackles. His skills complement mine, and are part of what I love about him.

I have not completely shut Miss Jealousy out of my life, and I still have to work at ignoring her any time that I realize I am going green-eyed over something or someone. However, that awareness of my own special gifts, of the skills that I share that I just can't not do, keep me more grounded these days.

Baby steps, baby steps, every day, and I have to remember to extend the same grace and forgiveness to myself that I extend to others.

What have you been jealous of that you can finally let go of today?

Looking in the Rear View Mirror

When you took Driver’s Education in high school, you were taught to be aware of all your surroundings so that you would be safe behind the wheel. As you looked ahead, you scanned the traffic and the roadsides. You glanced regularly at your rear view mirror, where you kept an eye on the vehicles and the highway behind you. Any stationary or moving object that was close to your car loomed large and sharp and colorful, and sometimes caused you great concern. As you drove forward, however, anything that was a possible hazard receded into the distance, until it disappeared completely from view.

Many of our day-to-day experiences, especially the problems, are similar to those images in the mirror. Today, right at this moment, the problems are so close. We feel pressured and confined by them. We find ourselves short of breath, or with a rapidly beating heart even as we think about them, regardless of the actual size or scope of the difficulties. They may appear big and complex, sometimes perilous, or even insurmountable. We fear the consequences if we crumple in defeat, or we become very angry, or offended, hurt or bitter as we struggle to come to some sort of resolution. Yet, over time, the feelings we have today, much like the roadside images, often recede into the distance, and become nothing more than specks on the landscape of our past.

How can something that is so large and so very important, fade later into obscurity, stripped of its larger-than-life size and emotion? How can it, at a point in the future, sometimes even morph into a humorous anecdote that you share, such as “Remember that time when I was in high school, and I called you in the middle of the night because I got the car stuck in the woods on an ATV trail?”

Time. Distance. Perspective. Prayer. That’s all. Sometimes, it’s just the passage of hours, days, weeks, or even years. Other times, it’s just a matter of putting some figurative or literal space between you and the issue. It may simply be a matter of taking a few steps and a few deep breaths, and finding a different point of view to gain that fresh perspective. And last, but certainly not least, there is the sweet relief of sharing your burden through prayer.

Is there a problem or issue in your life that would benefit from the healing balm of time, distance, perspective or prayer?