Gifts from the heart: Memory album

Graphic design by daughter Alexis

Today is March 31. We are officially well into spring, and yet are on a winter storm warning, looking at the very real  possibility of 6-10” of heavy wet snow by tomorrow night.

**Sigh.**

Rather than retreating to the attic to gaze wistfully at my warmer weather clothes, I will take this time to look ahead to Christmas.

Just kidding. Sort of.

Today, we will start with events such as birthdays, then in later posts we will tackle Christmas. I love creating gifts that are rich in meaning and easy on the pocketbook, especially as opposed to rushing through the malls maxing out credit cards. Speaking of which, for those of you still reeling from overspending in December, please stay with me for this series. You can prepare gifts that you will love to give that will go a long way towards a much more thoughtful and much less expensive holiday.

There are gifts you can do yourself, that seemingly require very little of yourself and practically no actual financial cost, such as writing a letter straight from your heart. You can read here about the letter my husband wrote many years ago to his dad as a Father’s Day gift. This deceptively simple idea of the power of the written word packs a huge punch, as you will read when you follow that link.

At the other end of the spectrum there are gifts that require more time and effort, and also the talents and cooperation of other family members. I think sometimes when my six siblings receive my emails that suggest some form of cooperative gift giving project, they-oops!-delete my email by mistake, or they go into radio silence mode in the hopes that I will glide by and forget I asked them to join me.

As they well know, no such luck.

The gift idea today is one that requires the participation of others. It is the Memory Album, and cost is truly minimal for the wealth of entertainment, sentimentality and laughter and love that it provides. This treasure is made up of single pages, crafted in some fashion by individuals in your circle, and then put together for safe-keeping into a binder, creating unique glimpses of a life’s story.

Ingredients: One three ring binder, clear sheet protectors, paper
These can be straight out of your local department store, or you can purchase archival supplies online. I used Archival Methods and have been thrilled with the quality. They cost more than regular materials, but this album was worth the additional expense, as I wanted to make sure this gift would stand the test of time.

Preparation: Determine the focus of your album and the time frame you will need to complete it. The focus can be on the celebration of a birthday, graduation, anniversary, or the reminiscence about growing up in the family home, an especially appropriate and welcome remembrance when a couple is moving after decades of living in the same place.

Take a blank page, and write a prompt for folks. For instance, for my dear hubbie’s fiftieth birthday, I chose a font I like and printed across the top of a page the phrase, “Keith, you’re 50?!! I remember….”. I then ran this master through the copier so that all the pages were identical (saved wear and tear on my hand, and was much neater than my own handwriting!). This prompt, pre-printed on the chosen paper would determine the theme for the book, and would unite the pages with this singular purpose.
Allow enough time to get the blanks out to people, have them work their magic, and then get them back.

Gaining the cooperation of family and friends: Since I was also holding a surprise party for Keith, I had emailed everyone to let them know to “save the date”. I also explained that they weren’t to buy any gifts, but instead would be receiving a page and a prompt in the mail that they could fill out any way they wanted.

The implementation: I wrote a simple cover letter, reiterating the idea behind the album, and gave examples of how the pages could be filled out. I suggested that they could just stick photos on and write captions. They could write a short piece about a funny event or a poignant moment in their relationship. They could attach old letters or notes or scrapbooking materials to dress up a page. I told them to do whatever they wanted to do for Keith. Some folks just did the one page, others asked for additional paper to do more.

Here are a couple of samples that were turned in by the moms, who did multiple pages:

 A note on the above page by my mom: Let's just say that my track record up to that point for dating was...ummmm...just not really good. Think lots of frogs. Hence the comments from the first time she met him, "Has she got her head in the sand?" and "She's really sticking her neck out this time!".

The gift: We surprised Keith with his party-well, he said we did, the sweetie!-and had a great time together, as always, and gave dear hubbie his album. He was moved to tears, and we all enjoyed reading the fruits of our labor, which ranged from serious and moving to very, very funny.

Priceless. Absolutely priceless.

Will you share a thoughtful gift idea you have used for a loved one?

White Space

Do you allow for white space in your life?


This graphic design term is a great metaphor for how we choose to prioritize our days. To quote designer Keith Robertson of Logoorange.com:

White space is the absence of content. White space does not hold content in the way that a photograph or text holds meaning, and and yet it gives meaning through context, to both image and text. In fact, white space can make or break the effective transmission of image and text.

Ah, yes. We have a sweet oxymoron here. The lack of content (i.e., text, images) is content.


Hmmmm. Let that very powerful principle roll around in your head for a moment.


How do you fill your days? Are they so chock full, like those single-spaced mile-long emails, that your eyes glaze when thinking about your schedule? Are there so many to-do’s crammed into your hours that when you open that closet door to shove in just one more thing, the entire mass crashes down on you? Is there so little room to breathe that when something goes wrong you feel like are drowning?


There are all kinds of different solutions for this chaotic lifestyle, but they all begin at the same place: allow room for white space in your life by prioritizing and simplifying. Think about making different choices for the immediate and longer term that will free up time and/or money. Do your kids need to be in twelve sports? Do you need to be active in six organizations? Do you need to spend hours surfing the internet? Do you need to be supermom to everybody?


Let go of thinking that you just need to do a better job “balancing” your life. There is no such thing as balance. Rather, there are priorities, which we choose every day. What I am suggesting is making intentional choices, every day, and prioritizing based on what is truly important in your life.


If you start with something basic, such as creating a weekly menu, and grocery shopping around it, that small step can cascade into a series of benefits, such as having dinner at home, enjoying conversation with your family over a meal, saving money, working towards better health, and experiencing satisfaction at taking this step, as opposed to a rushed, frantic, unhealthy, expensive meal at the nearest fast food joint.


Sometimes taking the time for an activity actually provides greater benefits in the long run, such as praying, or choosing to use part of your lunchtime to walk. Both of these activities effectively increase your white space in the form of a little peace and clarity.


Start small. Be good to yourself. Take baby steps as you tackle the responsibilities and choices to which you have already agreed. Question the how new opportunities will be prioritized against your current reality.


And remember: white space, i.e., lack of content, is content-ment.

Birdsong at Sunrise. Photo copyright K. Hall

Five minute Friday-On waking up

The Gypsy Mama and her Five Minute Friday challenge:

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

I love early mornings. I love awakening to a new day, that fresh start, that curiosity and excitement of wondering what the day will hold, of doors opening and closing, of hurts and happiness, of sin and forgiveness.

But most of all, I love the way the day tiptoes quietly into my room, much like our daughters when they were toddlers, gently poking at me, and whispering, “Are you awake yet?” “Are you ready to get up and play?”

Honesty

How do you spell honesty?

R-I-S-K.

At least, I think that is the correct common American spelling.

Unless you are at work. 

Then it is spelled D-O-O-M.

The tragedy of it is this: honesty has fallen so far out of favor in our culture that it sits lower than a young rapper’s jeans on his skinny frame.

I believe that being truthful has gotten an undeserved bad reputation, right alongside being faithful to your spouse, and being a cheerful employee with integrity.

Being honest used to be a character trait to be admired, as others knew you could be trusted. Too many people now believe it is for fools who aren’t enlightened enough to understand the many nuances of truth, or for rubes who are too ethical to understand the devastating potential it holds.

Long ago, I worked for a company where there were regular department meetings to go over what had and had not been successful over the past week, and what we could do to make any kinks disappear. (Yes, Virginia. Productive, and I daresay, even enjoyable meetings really do exist.) We had developed a great rapport as a group, and we were all able to honestly discuss and brainstorm with a spirit of helpfulness and a goal of problem solving. Just as an historical note, we had been recently led to becoming this well-oiled machine from a place of tremendous dysfunctionality, and not surprisingly, honesty, or lack thereof, was one of our issues. But, that is another story for another day.

So, all of us were on board the truth train. Well, almost all.

One fellow employee relished these gatherings, as she would invariably start her comments with, “Well, to be brutally frank…”. I have to tell you. I dreaded it when Mr. Brutally Frank joined us. He was not in the conference room with the group to help build a healthier, more efficient workplace. Oh, no. He was in the kitchen, using the opportunity to “be honest” as a cover to do a slice and dice on each of us that was worthy of a Ginsu knife master.

Let’s just say that this employee and her buddy Mr. Frank thankfully did not last long, as the business really did value integrity and honesty in each of their employees, and I think that she found the fit to be quite uncomfortable.

How does honesty rate in your workplace? Is it a regular guest, familiar, wise and welcome, so much so that it has an established seat at your table? Do you greet it with an open mind and an open heart, in an effort to learn and grow? Do you swat it aside like a minor irritation? Do you roar at its appearance, your message loud and clear, that he who values his head should think twice about being honest with you? Or do you use it as a weapon, viewing its usefulness only in terms of the damage it can inflict and the gains you will make?

As difficult as it can be to create a culture of honesty in today’s world, you need to raise the bar, and start with yourself, making the habit of truthfulness the expectation, not the aberration.

How do I spell honesty? T-H-E   R-I-G-H-T   C-H-O-I-C-E

Make it yours today.

For it is the light that brings a rich harvest of every kind of goodness, righteousness, and truth. Ephesians 5:9

Photo © K. Hall

Welcome Spring!

Crocus © K. Hall

Spring has arrived! Warm sunshine. Green grass. Crocuses. Gentle breezes. Soft earth that yields to the weight of bare feet.

But wait. God is not quite done with winter. He still has some batter in the bottom of his great mixing bowl that he scrapes out and drops down upon the New England landscape. More cold. Snow. Lots of slush. Biting winds. Oh, and here’s some overnight temperatures that freeze the ground again.

My attitude needs some adjusting in regards to the combination these season-ings, as I am just not really enjoying the melding of the two. It’s like I had my heart set on chocolate, and I bit into anchovies. Ewww. 

What does it all actually look like? Well....

We have side roads like this.

 And they change to this.

And downtowns like this. At noon.
When the spring sun is supposed to be shining.

And this poor guy. Standing out in the fresh air, thinking the corner has been turned, really looking forward to contentedly chewing on some of that tender new growth, only to get right in the middle of the seasonal mix-up, wondering to himself what the heck happened...
I would say he is blue at the prospect of missing his spring salad mix...

How are you handling your seasons of change?

Why did the turkey cross the road?

This road is blissfully frost-heave and turkey free

When we drove to church this week, we took what is usually the quickest route, which takes us this time of year along a curvy, wood-lined, frost-heave riddled road. Since it is getting towards spring, the turkeys are out in force, especially in this area. If you haven’t lived where there are turkeys, know that all the stories you’ve heard about how, um, limited they are in the brain department are well deserved. They cannot be counted on for rational, logical behavior by any stretch.

As we came up over a rise, we noticed there were four turkeys ahead by the right side of the road, picking at something they evidently found tasty. Two of the turkeys, realizing we were coming, stopped eating and immediately headed across the road. 

In front of us. Just cavalierly putting their lives in our hands. Not into the woods towards the right, where they could just toddle off into the undergrowth, oh, no.

We slowed the car, and watched as the third bird took a few more bites, and then followed his mates across the road as well.

In front of us. Even though our car was closer than when the first two crossed. 

We took the speed down just a little more, wondering if the last member of the gang was going to surprise us. He was quite busy having his fill as he wasn’t having to share with his fellow scavengers. Apparently, though, he realized he was ALONE, so off he trotted to be with his buds. 

Yes, in front of our moving car. May I say with tongue firmly in cheek: what a turkey.

I found myself wondering about a parallel between these birds and us (I know. You are wondering about me, and why in the world I would even see a parallel.), and thinking that sometimes our own behavior can be as illogical.  How often do we make choices based on giving in to pleasure now but exposing ourselves to short or long term risk, such as eating too much at a party, or spending money we don’t have on a fun gadget, as opposed to making wiser choices that instead bring us much greater satisfaction over the long haul?

Be good to yourself, and take some time today to ask for wisdom and guidance as you make both large and small decisions.

Where are you and where are you supposed to be?

Vancouver sailboat © K. Hall

Although I am a very optimistic, mostly upbeat person, I must admit I haven't ever been really intentional about setting larger life-sized goals. If I were a boat, my name would likely be the Aimless Wanderer, or maybe the Endless Drifter. You know that old saying about how if you love something you must set it free, and it will come back to you? Well, I've always navigated using the "set the rudder free and it will come back to me...to occasionally hit me on my backside, sometimes in a really painful way" system.

I must say that the results of that have been less than satisfying. That is not to say that I am disgruntled about where I ended up. To the contrary, I am blessed in great abundance by my family, friends, church community and especially by God. I have been challenged, tested, shaped and sharpened so much that I beleive I should have been trimmed down to at least a svelte size 4 by now.

Surprisingly, I am not.

 I do, however, feel a real pull this time, a desire to take hold of the rudder under His direction, and steer this humble craft back out of the safety of the shallows, away from the grasp of the tangled undergrowth and muck of the shoreline where I have felt stuck for so long, and navigate towards living a more purposeful, intentional life.

Where are you? Are you feeling stuck or trapped? Take some time today to get a fresh perspective to help you move forward, whether through reading, prayer, or talking with friends who love you enough to be honest with you.

Five minute Friday-On Waiting

I know it is Saturday, but I just found this great site-The Gypsy Mama-and her Five Minute Friday challenge. Every Friday she gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

Waiting. We wait on so much. Doctors. Family. Friends. Waiters. Ourselves. God. Those last two are especially difficult. Why are we waiting on ourselves, and why am I waiting on God? Why am I not just moving forward, trusting Him to guide my steps if I just listen? I have struggled a great deal over the last several years, as I went through several job changes, including unemployment. I have been praying to be led to my true purpose, but have not yet heard my answer.

This morning I had to laugh, mostly in embarrassment, because while I prayed I became impatient. I did some railing. "God! What is it that you want from me? I'm here. I'm ready. I am definitely not using the talents and tools you have given me where I am now. I want to help folks. Tell me how to get there, because I just don't know where I am going and I am not feeling particularly useful or helpful or appreciated where I am now!"

A funny thing happened. I felt compelled to stop praying and waiting and start writing. Right then. Right this minute, Kimberly Ann. So I did. Hours passed. I posted to my blog for the first time in over a year. I felt like finally I had come up for air, like the purpose finally fit.

Oh. Right. What's one of the questions I have been asking others, but haven't really been able to answer myself? "What is it that you do, that when you do it, time just flies, and it doesn't even feel like work?" Oh. That would be writing on my blog. That's what I call a Whack on the Side of the Head from God. It's an ouchy in a good kind of way.
Whew. Done. Ok, I used a few extra seconds.

Beyond the five minute deadline:

In the interest of transparency, I have to admit that after I wrote the first few sentences I was drawn to copy part of an email I had sent to my daughters this morning. Consequently, this was not written completely from scratch in five minutes. Isn’t it funny that when we write that sometimes the words and message head off in a direction that we did not anticipate or intend? That’s one of the things about writing that I love: I am just never really sure of the message until the post is finished, even though I have an end in mind when I begin.

Where's my ticket, Lord, and whose luggage is this?

Your sweet spot. That place of perfect pitch, where there is a harmonious balance of minimum energy and maximum impact. If you have ever experienced “being in the zone”, where time flies as you effortlessly accomplish a particular task, you have been in your sweet spot. (No, it is not that place in your desk drawer where you keep the candy…)

Max Lucado authored an incredible book titled “Cure for the Common Life, Living in Your Sweet Spot”. In it, he writes about how he believes that God has prepared each of us for a particular journey, and that He has packed for us accordingly. He also makes the case that many of us are living out of someone else’s luggage, thereby causing us to be very uncomfortable with the fit of our lives. Think about it. If you picked up Mrs. Plump and Kindly Grandmother’s suitcase on the airport carousel, would you just say, “Oh, well. I am sure these stockings and dresses will do. They certainly are roomier and brighter than my business suits. Perhaps the CEO will notice me now.” No. You would move heaven and earth to find your own luggage. Why, then, do we allow ourselves to be content living our lives as Henry David Thoreau described when he said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”?

The author backs up his premise with some sobering statistics about how much stress and unhappiness exist in the workplace today:

• Unhappiness on the job affects one-fourth of the American workforce
• One-fourth of employees view their jobs as the number one stressor in their lives
• Seven out of ten people are neither motivated nor competent to perform the basics of their job
• Forty-three percent of employees feel anger toward their employers often or very often as a result of feeling overworked

Right, then. No wonder customer service is an endangered species. Let me just go chow down on some M&M’s-my occasional remedy for stress and depression-before we get to what is good about this.

You know that when you are sick, real sick, go-to-the-doctor-sick, because your family and coworkers, and maybe you, have had it with your hacking/stuffiness and other assorted icky symptoms? You go because you haven’t been able to get better on your own. You need someone with more knowledge than you to help lead you to wellness, either with information about behavior changes (“no more M&M’s!”) and/or medicine. We have to recognize we have a problem in order to solve it, and that maybe we need to stop relying on just ourselves for everything. We have to reject the foregone conclusion that this illness-whether in the workplace or in our own bodies-is the norm, and that there really isn’t anything better.

There is much, much more, if we only gather up our courage to see what might be possible. As Lucado writes, “God did not drop you into the world utterly defenseless and empty-handed. You arrived fully equipped.” Rather than railing every day about how miserable and lost you are, open up your suitcase, and check out what amazing tools have been packed so that you, too, can live and work in your sweet spot . Not only will you find the fit for which you long, but your ticket is already included as well. All aboard!