Five Minute Friday: Backwards

Thanks for stopping by and joining in the Friday fun!

Gypsy Mama writes: I remember how powerful the written word is. To encourage, to laugh, to cheer, to pray, to listen, and love. Sometimes all it takes is five minutes.
Five minutes to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not.
Kind of like how friendship should be.
Got five minutes? Here’s a great way to spend them, and here's the rules.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link back to her site and invite others to join in.

3. Get a little crazy with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

So, let's write! Here is my offering today:

Five Minute Friday-Backwards

Self! Self!

My mom tells me that those were words that I used to use when I was a toddler, apparently loudly and often. She would grow frustrated sometimes, not surprisingly, at my insistence on doing everything myself, at the speed and quality of a 3 year old.

I am surprised she and dad never left me behind when they took all seven of us kids shopping.

Wait a minute, there was that time when they inadvertently left without me, they said....

Self! Self!

Why is it I am still crying out those words today as an adult? 

Why am I doing my life backwards, and wondering why plans don't come together the way I want?

Perhaps because when I pray, I talk, and talk, and talk, and ask, but often forget to LISTEN. I know that God is amazing, and if I will just slow down and LISTEN, he will guide me where he wants to take me. He has packed my luggage with incredible gifts, and he wants me to take an amazing journey, but I have to LISTEN to figure out the details.

Perhaps it is time to start moving forwards, in faith, rather than just by myself. After all, as Jeremiah 29:11 states:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  (NIV)

I just have to be patient and put my inner toddler into timeout while I take time to just breathe, let go and listen.

*End Time*

-Editorial Note: The beginning of the post is copied from a word doc that I keep handy. As it is just general background and information on Five Minute Fridays, especially for folks who are landing here for the first time, I don't count it in my five minutes...

If this message really hits you in your heart, I invite you to read these other related posts for inspiration:

Where are you and where are you supposed to be?
Sailing away from the Island of Settle
Where's my ticket, Lord, and whose luggage is this?

Five minute Friday-Every Day...

Today is Five Minute Friday, with a nod to The Gypsy Mama, and here what she has to say today:

That’s what we do around here on Fridays. We eat words. Straight up. Without second guessing, editing, or critisizing them. We simply savor all their deliciousness. For a full five minutes. You should try it. It’s a calorie-rich experience sans calories.

Wanna just write? Without wondering if it’s just right?

Indulge in five rich, delicious minutes of pure writing.
Tell your readers you’re linking up here and invite them to dig in too.
And most importantly, go visit, read, and compliment the five minute chef who served something up right before you.
Easy peasy.

 So let's get to it!

Every Day...
If we are not careful, every day can just blend into another boring, meaningless twenty-four hours, but Friday…

Friday glides up to my morning window like a car hop from the old-fashioned drive-in, full of sunny smiles and holding a menu that offers mouth-watering goodness.

“Hello, ma’am. How would you like your day today?” she asks with a lilting voice. “Would you prefer a mug of sparkling frosty root beer with that soft foam on top that melts in your mouth, or would you prefer a triple scoop mega chocolate ice cream sundae with fudge sauce and whipped cream?”

Oooh. Tough choice.

However, no matter what I order, there are occasions that I don’t receive quite what I requested. Some days, my root beer is more flat than bubbly, and my ice cream tastes more like “too long in the freezer” than supremely decadent chocolate.

And actually, that is ok. It is those times where I am challenged to appreciate my day, when I don’t necessarily get what I asked for, that invite me to look for the blessings in my life.

It reminds me that with a shift in perspective, sometimes accompanied with a grinding of gears, I can see clearly...

That life is good.

Everyday.

Besides, the next time the waitress brings my sweet treat, I will be so very grateful, and savor each and every bit.  Mmmmmm….

A disclaimer: I broke the rules. I took more than 5 minutes. I edited. I ask forgiveness. And for chocolate.

Five minute Friday-On forgetting

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.


She says: I remember how powerful the written word is. To encourage, to laugh, to cheer, to pray, to listen, and love. Sometimes all it takes is five minutes. Five minutes to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not.
Kind of like how friendship should be.
Got five minutes? Join us, and share what you have to say as well, whether in the comments or in your own blog.

Let's begin!

On forgetting...

The month of May has turned into the month of May-be: May-be the rain will stop, May-be we will have a sunny day again, May-be the difficulties and problems in my life will all magically iron themselves out.

Whatever my circumstances, wherever I am, however, I must not forget that I must, as 2 Corinthians 5:7 tells me, to “live by faith, not by sight”.

God has equipped me in wonderful ways for a marvelous purpose in this life, and much like a saw or a chisel, sometimes I need to be sharpened to be at my best. He will never give me more than I can bear and is always there for me.

It is I who sometimes wanders off the path, and wonders why He has forsaken me, or why He is challenging me so.

Then I remember, that I am the one who left, that I am imperfect, and that I am a work in progress, that I am only human, after all, and sometimes that can be both a painful and wonderfully fruitful process.

I just have to remember to keep the faith.

Morning in the Garden

 Just an additional note here: The dark, wet weather of the last couple of weeks has abated for now, so I joyfully took the opportunity to sit on my front steps this morning to pray. I shot the image above of the view from my porch to share with you. I was reminded that without the rain-and the loving, tending hand of my mom-this garden would not be the absolutely gorgeous space that it is.

Five minute Friday-Deep breath...

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .


 Deep Breath...

I take a deep breath, knowing I draw in patience at the same time. Patience to deal with the challenges of the day ahead.

Deep breath to be calm in the face of an angry customer.

Deep breath. To remind myself that underneath anger, always underneath anger, is fear.

Deep breath, knowing that if I can gather patience, and find a sense of calm, I can be helpful, and maybe I can help address or assuage the fear.

What are they carrying today, that they bring with themselves to my window?

Shallow quick breaths of grief, of a family member who doesn’t have much longer on this earth?

Shallow quick breaths of worry, of wondering how they will pay their bills?

Breathe deep, jump in to the waters of the day, and spread calm and grace. That is what I strive for every day.

Five minute Friday-Motherhood should come with...

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

Red Phone © psd Paul Downey at Flickr.com

Motherhood should come with...

A bright red phone that is a direct line to whomever you need that will answer the questions for wherever you are in your parenting. Questions like, “How do I diaper my baby?” (Yes, I did ask the nurses that question when it was time to take our first daughter home from the hospital.) and “Where is the user manual?” (The nurses said the babies don’t come with one, much to my dismay.)

A support group that is always there, for the changing face of the struggles you will face as a parent, and the joys you just can’t wait to share.

A journal and a great pen. And a teacher to stand over you to make sure you write in it daily, even just a few sentences, because you will forget all those adorable, cute moments, sayings and conversations. You do know you lose brain cells every time you have a child, right?

A great sense of humor for all those times that in the future will be funny, but right now, well, you just can’t see the humor for all the crayon on the walls.

And last, but certainly not least: Love. Oh, it already does. That is the one accessory that is included. Lots and lots of unconditional, amazing deep, powerful love.

Five minute Friday-If I knew I could, I would

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

If I knew I could, I would...

I would reach out across the internet and across town, and share what I have learned with women of the world, and would be so excited to learn from them as well.

I would listen with great interest to what they know and where they’ve been, and offer thoughts, information and ideas to get up and out of situations from which they can’t see a way forward, I would connect them with each other so that we could see we have so much in common, and so much to offer one another.

I would send seeds of hope, love and laughter to these women, these wives and moms, and help them find the strengths, talents, and gifts in themselves, their friendships and their marriages. I would help them to see the wonder and joy of finding their faith when they find God.

And I would be so incredibly blessed to be part of this ever-growing, ever-enriching, vibrant group, where we all help each other to grow to be the women we were designed to be.

Dandelion Wish © Lifesupercharger on Flickr.com

Five minute Friday-The hard love

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

Start…

Nobody ever told me, wisely, how hard parenting would be. Especially when one of your daughters is so wonderfully different from you.

The difficult toddler years, when I would have to pull her away from the stairs and other dangerous places.

The challenging elementary years, when she would get so angry with me and her dad, that once she stood at the top of the stairs, while we had company, and yelled “Swears! Swears!” with an accompanying hand gesture.

The heartbreaking teen years, when I could hear sobbing from inside her bedroom, and myself stood crying outside her door, not knowing how to help her through the tremendously difficult times of adolescence, not being able to figure out how to get her to open up the door and herself to me, and of her not willing to let go of her steely independence.

Such a hard love.

End…

Arrrrggggghhhhh! I long to be able to write a post that I can leave as is at the five minute mark.

That being said…

My story has an important lesson and a happy ending that I must share, especially for all those moms who are struggling with understanding their daughters.

I was so challenged by our youngest. She was always much more like her dad, and she still does have much more in common character wise with him. He was always more easy going and more of a risk taker than I. Where he saw opportunity for growth, I saw danger. I would be quick to rise to her bait, while he would more often see it for what it was, and either ignore the challenge or call her on it.

Now that Leslie is a young adult (yes, we both survived!) I see our relationship as one that has grown and matured to a wonderful blend of love, laughter and respect. Is it perfect? Of course not. We both still manage to irritate each other, just nowhere near as often as we used to.

We have endured tremendous pressure, and with the benefit of hindsight, I see that we have been sharpened and shined into better individuals. I wouldn’t have it any other way, or have her be anyone else but who she is.

Moms, keep the faith, stay on the path, be the mom, do what is right, not what is easy, convenient or more comfortable, and later you will be able to be the friend, and have a delightful friend in your daughters.

 I beg your indulgence for one additional note:
If you would like a grown up sisterly perspective on a similar topic, Leslie’s sister Alexis recently blogged about their adult relationship here at her site, Alexis Hall Photo.

Five minute Friday-On distance

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .


Distance.

It always seemed so far to drive to visit my grandparents, as they lived about two hours north of us.

There was always something else pressing, another to-do on the calendar.

And then, a little over two years ago, just before Christmas, after having to move into a nursing home/rehab center with my grandfather, my grandmother passed away.

The distance is too great now to visit.

She would have been 99 years old today.

I am so very sorry I didn’t take more time to visit. She was so amazingly talented and delightfully interesting: she wrote, she crafted, she painted. As kids, we spent summers in Northern Vermont, taking turns a week at a time, just having a ball being just one or two siblings as opposed to the seven of us at home, being encouraged, treated and loved. So very loved.

I am so grateful for her inheritance of craftiness, of thrift, of sharing, of loving my family, and especially of writing.

I have no doubt that in Heaven she is still so very busy, sharing her talents with others.

Thank you Gram, love you lots, and a very happy birthday that transcends the distance from my heart to yours.

Five minutes are up.
Done.

Grampa and Gram on their 40th anniversary

But wait-I’m not really done. I know I say that to myself every week, and have to resist the mighty temptation to add and edit, but this week there is something different about that statement. I feel absolutely compelled to continue, and now that door has been opened, I humbly request your indulgence for just a few more minutes.

I did write about her here, but in honor of her birthday, I would like to share a little more about who she was and how she lived her life, and how it is all so woven into my mom, me and my two daughters.

Thrift? Gram lived through the Depression and had Scottish blood. Need I say more? I see this trait in all of us, and our youngest has recently delighted and surprised us with her ability to turn an older garment into a fresh work of wonder. Without having ever been taught how to sew. I can hear Gram chuckling over it now.

Faith? I never realized what a true servant of Christ Gram was until I attended her memorial service. She worked at walking the talk, and I just wish she could see how Keith and I are walking that same path, learning about the joy to be found in our faith.

Creativity? My mom inherited Gram's creative gene, even though she pooh-poohs her talents, and she encouraged creative pursuits in all seven of us kids. I often wonder how she kept her sanity through it all. She taught me to sew and to do so much else, for which I am eternally grateful. Thanks, Mom!

Craftiness? Gram could take most anything and make it bloom into something else. Mom once gave her a bolt of bright green wool, and Gram made ornaments (about 100 a year for her annual Christmas Cards) from it for several years in a row, crafting slippers, scarves, mittens, etc as an amusing series. Our oldest daughter took that gift of craftiness and applied it to her wedding bouquet, which she created from felt and Gram’s button collection. (Alexis' amazing pet photography and blog can be seen at her site, Alexis Hall Photo.)

Button monograms and felt flowers © Alexis Hall Photo

 Writing? Gram wrote three family histories, composed sermons when she served as a lay minister for her church, and kept family camp scrapbooks, recording memories going back about 40 years.  I have inherited her gift, and for that I am eternally grateful. After finishing a post this week titled “On being sugared off”,  I emailed the link to my mom. I noted that I thought Gram would have gotten a real charge out of how I compared us to sap of the maple tree and the process of sugaring, since she was an avid fan of real Vermont maple syrup. I said that I could hear Gram laughing over the post, and would exclaim in her inimitable way, “Oh my land!”

My land, indeed. My home, my past, present and future tied so inextricably and woven so tightly to Gram and the amazing lady she was.

Five minute Friday-A few of my favorite things

The Gypsy Mama and her Five Minute Friday challenge:

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

 A few of my favorite things. So much comes to mind, but always, always at the top is my family. Sweet babies with their loving dad. Adventuresome toddlers with their teaching dad. Young ladies with their protective dad. And young adults with their very, very proud dad.

Ahh, the wonders and perils of parenting. The nurse that tells you in the midst of your seemingly endless labor pain that it will be worth it, that you will experience the most amazing emotions once you hold that precious new life in your arms, that you will feel truly unconditional love. I was skeptical, and she was so right. And I was so glad to be wrong.

Keith. Alexis. Leslie. My husband, partner, best friend. Our children, wonderful, different, delightful, clever, caring, thoughtful. Truly a few of my favorite things that bring more blessings than I can count into my life.

I just hope that they feel as blessed, and forgive me for posting one of my favorite family photos....

Photo © K. Hall

Five minute Friday-On waking up

The Gypsy Mama and her Five Minute Friday challenge:

Every Friday The Gypsy Mama gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

I love early mornings. I love awakening to a new day, that fresh start, that curiosity and excitement of wondering what the day will hold, of doors opening and closing, of hurts and happiness, of sin and forgiveness.

But most of all, I love the way the day tiptoes quietly into my room, much like our daughters when they were toddlers, gently poking at me, and whispering, “Are you awake yet?” “Are you ready to get up and play?”

Five minute Friday-On Waiting

I know it is Saturday, but I just found this great site-The Gypsy Mama-and her Five Minute Friday challenge. Every Friday she gives a prompt and you are supposed to write about it in 5 minutes.  Only 5 minutes!  Also, no edits!  Just write.  So here goes . . .

Waiting. We wait on so much. Doctors. Family. Friends. Waiters. Ourselves. God. Those last two are especially difficult. Why are we waiting on ourselves, and why am I waiting on God? Why am I not just moving forward, trusting Him to guide my steps if I just listen? I have struggled a great deal over the last several years, as I went through several job changes, including unemployment. I have been praying to be led to my true purpose, but have not yet heard my answer.

This morning I had to laugh, mostly in embarrassment, because while I prayed I became impatient. I did some railing. "God! What is it that you want from me? I'm here. I'm ready. I am definitely not using the talents and tools you have given me where I am now. I want to help folks. Tell me how to get there, because I just don't know where I am going and I am not feeling particularly useful or helpful or appreciated where I am now!"

A funny thing happened. I felt compelled to stop praying and waiting and start writing. Right then. Right this minute, Kimberly Ann. So I did. Hours passed. I posted to my blog for the first time in over a year. I felt like finally I had come up for air, like the purpose finally fit.

Oh. Right. What's one of the questions I have been asking others, but haven't really been able to answer myself? "What is it that you do, that when you do it, time just flies, and it doesn't even feel like work?" Oh. That would be writing on my blog. That's what I call a Whack on the Side of the Head from God. It's an ouchy in a good kind of way.
Whew. Done. Ok, I used a few extra seconds.

Beyond the five minute deadline:

In the interest of transparency, I have to admit that after I wrote the first few sentences I was drawn to copy part of an email I had sent to my daughters this morning. Consequently, this was not written completely from scratch in five minutes. Isn’t it funny that when we write that sometimes the words and message head off in a direction that we did not anticipate or intend? That’s one of the things about writing that I love: I am just never really sure of the message until the post is finished, even though I have an end in mind when I begin.